Life = soooo many decisions

I haven't written anything in a very long time- I don't know why.

Currently I am feeling the pressure of decision making - frustrated that so many choices are seemingly non stop and what consume each day. choices choices choices- endless choices.

I have always chosen to conduct myself based on instinct rather than logic. of course logic is necessary,. but I usually try to go with how I feel,. Even when logic tells me different- or societies logic - or pressure from surroundings - I attempt to only give merit to what is yelling at me from the pit of my stomach.

WE supposedly only get one chance- i think otherwise- but consciously I only remember this round; so I guess I kind of believe it. And it is a dark and scary place - THis World - because none of us really have any idea why we're here, or why we do what we do; or make the decisions we make. We are just here, together, lost and lonely, scared and curious.

Connection with others is so important - yet truth for yourself out plays everything else. And if it doesn't - it should. It has to. To be honest with yourself in all effort for feeling good in the moment is what matters in my opinion. Saying, "I want to know what gets me off- I have to- despite any or all expectations". I know this about myself; perpetually attempting to be self- aware and honest and exposed for the unexpected to have it's way with me. Taking me on a trip i will forever remember, journeying me to see me.

I don't know what drives me; expect I do know my sincere interest in humanity- despite the obvious flaws we share - we will always need each-other, and should put sincere effort in attempting to understand each-other; because when that can be done... and a tear can fall by a simple lyric to a song,. we share the feelings which hurt us, and we share the infinite wonder which both dazzles and destroys us.