Recent Drawing...

Audrey & Her Songs;.

Ink & Graphite on Paper 2011

I know what it is....

THat's it! I know what it is......

The difference is that the Mountains are so much taller than the bank buildings. You see the Mountains above everything in the sky, every building. And they rule the sky,.

That's the one major difference that makes Vancouver, just feel better,. because you're reminded that the earth is that much bigger and more powerful than money. Where as in Toronto you look up and only see the bank symbols looming down saying money is our only means to freedom; We in this city forget where were are, and where the real power lies. In Vancouver- you see the truth everyday; the truth that our dollar doesn't stand a chance against the natural elements.

The Tale of Two Cities

The jump I just made was unexpected and intense as hell.
Without really a choice I found myself spiraled back into Toronto- a place I yammered on and on about forever while I lived in Vancouver. Wishing to come back, sure that my standstill was because of the city I was in. But then as it all happened by the force of a friend, who snapped me out of whatever trance I was in- I realized it has nothing to do with the town I live in. It has everything to do with making the decision to flourish in reality rather than drown in my imagination.

I am now back East, enjoying it, but my head is still spinning. It feels like I'm on a trip, and will be returning to VanCity soon; but then I remember that's what I've been used to for two years; and I am living here now- hence only allowed to trip out West for the next while.

I just spent a few minutes looking at photos from both places, googled Vancouver, and Gastown, and then Toronto. I got shivers when I looked at the pictures of Vancouver. Remembering the air is like gas, heavy and moist, revitalizing. I will forever remember a night in my first winter there when I was walking home super late, and Gastown was heavy with fog. Fog so thick you could barely see your hand in front of your face, and the streets were filled with crows. I felt like I was on a movie set; spellbound by the energy all around. The dark, mystery looming in each corner, the cobble under my feet, and the epic street lamps snuffed out by such thick blue-grey smoke.

I need to talk about both places- for I feel people in each hate on each-other. There's always this goddamn debate about which is better. But I can say that the answer is neither. How could you ever question which one is better when they stand entirely on their own? Each harboring such a unique essence and reason for existing. When I'm here; I want to be there. When I'm there; I want to be here. Forever torn between the tale of these two cities.

But I'd like to make art about it. Continue the conversation I find myself in day-in and day-out. This war we have against each-other. This prejudice which lies across the whole country. Canadians against Canadians. Each choosing where to be and sticking with it. Standing up for their "better" city. But what then when you find yourself a hybrid of the two? Yearning for both simultaneously. Like I walk a fine line between the way of life each place offers; so intrigued by their unique opportunities. I definitely aspire to spend my life in each. I think I've decided to stay in Canada, rep Canada with my art, and travel the country I am from, before I run off to a foreign land. I am interested in everything that is Canada; one of the grandest countries in the world. I would like to make my art about her for awhile; write about her too; try to understand where I'm from and why I'll never be content with one or the other; regarding Toronto and Vancouver. Ha, maybe I'll be able to do it, spend two years here, then another two years there. Cultivate a wold of my own by bridging the two.

Two photos I took. Two different summers.

Two incredible places - One the Glass City - One the Machine.

Two very different places I forever hope to dance between.

blurred, but I'll figure it out.

I want crystal Unicorns; Gold studded.

No need for the fake; when the REAL are in reach.

It's like I've been in a cu-coon for 2 years.

A figment of my own imagination.

I turned the brain off and only cared to feel emotion.

No thoughts needed for me as I sat in one place with a brush in motion.

I feel awake now- something powerful has struck my face.

I spent my 20s goofing off I suppose- Im sure most see it that way-

I don't think it was like that; I was making art; and finding my way.

Now I know I need to put time into money;

actually show people my skills;

focus on living with my brain

and be as big as possible.

Moving out of Vancouver is just like leaving our snug little house to go into a stormy day.

Life = soooo many decisions

I haven't written anything in a very long time- I don't know why.

Currently I am feeling the pressure of decision making - frustrated that so many choices are seemingly non stop and what consume each day. choices choices choices- endless choices.

I have always chosen to conduct myself based on instinct rather than logic. of course logic is necessary,. but I usually try to go with how I feel,. Even when logic tells me different- or societies logic - or pressure from surroundings - I attempt to only give merit to what is yelling at me from the pit of my stomach.

WE supposedly only get one chance- i think otherwise- but consciously I only remember this round; so I guess I kind of believe it. And it is a dark and scary place - THis World - because none of us really have any idea why we're here, or why we do what we do; or make the decisions we make. We are just here, together, lost and lonely, scared and curious.

Connection with others is so important - yet truth for yourself out plays everything else. And if it doesn't - it should. It has to. To be honest with yourself in all effort for feeling good in the moment is what matters in my opinion. Saying, "I want to know what gets me off- I have to- despite any or all expectations". I know this about myself; perpetually attempting to be self- aware and honest and exposed for the unexpected to have it's way with me. Taking me on a trip i will forever remember, journeying me to see me.

I don't know what drives me; expect I do know my sincere interest in humanity- despite the obvious flaws we share - we will always need each-other, and should put sincere effort in attempting to understand each-other; because when that can be done... and a tear can fall by a simple lyric to a song,. we share the feelings which hurt us, and we share the infinite wonder which both dazzles and destroys us.

Wilde Dimensions

I recently got hired as an intern for Wilde Dimensions in Toronto; I am learning 3D Studio Max. 1st project: a Uni-Penguin : ) (he's not nearly complete- but a good start)

BLACK SWAN posters/art

I really like these posters for the movie... makes me want to do more graphic work. I also really like that I painted an 8 foot tall BLack Swan for Shaw Cable, back in September, right before the movie was announced...

Watch the Commercial here...

Toronto Star Cover Contest

I entered this drawing into The Toronto Star Cover Contest. If I win, it'll be printed on the front page on X-mas eve and I'll get $2500 - here's hoping!

(i withdraw and wonder where what how who- oh and why- why bother me about what to do- when i never know -nor never will)

: The Unicorn Deer Story :

Meet my Unicorn Fawn. This little dude has now become a symbol of hope and happiness for myself and many others. Read his remarkable story, which is hard to believe, but 100% true.

I painted this Unicorn Fawn for my friend named Fawn, because I was painting a Unicorn inspired by each friend of mine for my second solo art show titled SLAW.

I named it Ip, because Audrey Hepburn had a pet fawn, named Ip, who used to follow her around in Hollywood.

I painted this Unicorn Fawn in February of 2008, and featured it with my series of Unicorn animals in my Solo Art exhibit, at Charlie's Gallery, on February 25th.

View Blog TO's review of the SLAW show, which includes this picture!

Months after the show, on a beautiful summer day, Friday June 6th 2008, I went for a walk with Charlie and my roommates, and decided to bring my little 5 by 5 inch painting of the Unicorn Fawn with us.

On our way Charlie found a basket in an alleyway, so we put the Uni-Fawn painting in it. As the day past, as we visited shops and galleries I introduced my pet Uni-Fawn to people I met, and explained that I was on my way to the art store to buy sculpting supplies so I could sculpt it.

We all had lunch on a sunny patio on Queen street, then parted ways. I decided to walk through Trinity Bellwoods park, feeling happy that I brought the painting out that day, ... I then saw a bunch of kids hovered around a bush laughing at something... I asked what they were looking at and they said it was a baby bird with only one wing...

I squatted down to take a look, and saw a little bird hopping around with a pink, featherless wing folded neatly on her chest, while the other wing was flapping franticly sending her off the ground but only for a moment in a desperate hop.

I squealed, put my stuff down, and attempted to capture the frightened little bird. After a couple tries I got her in my grasp. Huddled in my breast, she breathed heavily and looked up at me.... with a better look , I realized , the little bird was actually... a baby Robin!

I gasped, and a tear came to my eye, I always thought I could talk to Robin's when I was a little girl, and couldn't believe I had found one so helpless, but alive, in downtown Toronto.

I rushed to my friend John's house, who lived near by, a place i had lived in for three years... I was having a hard time carrying all my stuff while carefully cradling the little robin.

I yelled up at John's window, hoping he would be home, surprisingly he was, even though it was a perfect day and he usually dwelled in Kensington during such days.

He poked his head out his window, 'Hi Love! What's up?' ,

'I found a one-winged baby Robin!' I exclaimed through tears.

He gasped, 'what? really?' and rushed down to me.

Once in the yard, laughing with a smile, he witnessed the little creature held to my breast while I awkwardly balanced art supplies, my purse, and a basket with the Uni-Fawn in it.

'O wow, ' he said. 'This is amazing'.

John took my things from me, and walked with me to my new house. We got a laundry hamper and he helped me make a little nest for the quivering bird.

I inspected the little bird and realized she had tiny feathers attempting to grow on her left side, but they weren't growing any more than a couple millimetres. She wasn't injured or anything, and didn't look sick, as she healthily hopped around chirping and flapping.

So I called a Vet and asked them about it. They informed me that she probably wasn't sick at all, just had a bird defect which happens to birds sometimes, when their feathers simply wont grow on one side of their body.

The veterinarian went on to say that it happens a lot in nature, you just never see it, because by the time the baby bird has been pushed out of the nest, only to find it cant fly, a cat or racoon gets to it right away and kills it. He said that I must have found her right after she had been pushed out of the nest, and that she may grow up with the defect, but never being able to fly, she would probably go insane in captivity.

I was dumbfounded by this news. Couldn't believe this magical find of mine. I decided to keep her and take care of her, advised to feed her cherries and bits of dog food.

The next few days were amazing. She was up at 6am chirp chirping to be fed. I would drop tiny bits cherries in her wide open yellow mouth, smiling at how much she ate, and how healthy she seemed. She was beautiful.

A couple days went by and I would rush home a few times a day to feed her. Everything was well with the Robin, she was eating and hopping around my room when I let her. Until that Wednesday morning, ....

Wednesday, June 11th 2008, I woke up at 9am, surprised that the Robin hadn't chirped at me earlier... I sensed something was wrong. I peeked into the laundry bag and gasped when I saw she had tipped over in her sleep, and died. She would sleep standing with her head nestled in her back, and was still in her sleep position , quiet and asleep for good.

I couldn't believe it. I decided she must have died because of her sadness. Her spirit needing to fly, so she was taken by Mother Nature, out of mercy.

I , crying, gathered her together , went out into my lush backyard in 9am sunshine, and made a little leaf coffin for her. I buried her, praying to Nature and thanking it for taking her.

After I buried her, I was so moved by it all, inspired and sad, so I wrote a poem, and drew this picture...

I believed it was because I took the Uni-Fawn out that Friday, that I had found her. So I decided to make hundreds of tiny prints of my Uni-Fawn, to give to people, writing 'Believe in Magic' on the back of them.

Over the next couple days I proceeded to give them to everyone I saw when I was out at parties, art shows etc. I would exclaim as I gave out the prints to people, that all I wanted was for the Unicorn Fawn to be real, laughing about how cool it would be to have a Unicorn Fawn at our party.

That Thursday night I was out all night, bright and happy while I gave out the Uni-Fawn prints. Wearing an entirely green outfit, with emerald heels, and short hair, I road my little red bike home, in the blazing sun, on Friday morning, Friday 13th 2008.

While riding down Dundas, I stopped and went into a little vintage store I had never been in before. I greeted a man in the store, and he complimented my outfit. As I went to leave I offered him one of my prints and said, 'Would you like a Unicorn'?

He took it from me, unrolled it, and gasped.

'Is this that Deer they found in Italy!?' he asked.

'What Deer?' I replied.

'O, well, two days ago, on Wednesday morning, they found a Deer in Italy growing a Unicorn horn, and it's all over the news, because people believe it to be a real Unicorn!'

I was stunned. Wednesday morning was when the baby Robin died, I thought. The man quietly took me to his computer and googled UNICORN DEER ITALY. In only a second images of the Deer they had found flooded the computer screen. Images that looked exactly like the Uni-Fawn I had painted 6 months earlier, and had been parading around town for exactly one week.

A tear came to my eye. I told him the story about the baby Robin and about the painting and how I had taken it out one week ago, wishing for the Uni-Fawn to be real to every person I met.

He heard my story , quietly nodding with excitement. Then when I finished, there was a pause as we gazed at the images on the screen , holding the print up next to them.

And then he spoke,

'That's the most amazing story I've ever heard, and it's extra weird because my middle name is actually Robin!'

The messenger of this news, was named Robin!

I couln't believe it.

I left his store and rushed home, running into friends on the way, told them and then kept going. When I got home I instantly called my Mom, crying and so excited, I told her everything.

Now to finish this tale, it's truly remarkable what my Mother said when I had finished telling her about that truly magical week.

She told me that her and my Father had booked their anniversary trip earlier that week, and had decided to go to Italy. Only a couple weeks later my parents went to Italy with my Unicorn Fawn prints in hand, and gave one to everyone they met, attempting to tell the story in Italian. And they even visited the reservation where the real one-year-old Unicorn Deer lives, met the man who discovered the Uni-Deer, gave him a print, and told him the unbelievable story.

Now my Uni-Fawn prints circulate in Italy, Toronto, and Vancouver... some of them read 'Believe in Magic' others say 'What you will, will be'... and I still get random emails from people I've never met telling me how they heard this story from my parents while they were travelling in Italy.

And that's my story about a little Robin and a little Unicorn Fawn, a beautiful true story I will cherish always :)

GOOGLE; UNICORN DEER ITALY ; and you'll find all the information about the Real Unicorn, I like to believe my painting, my wishing, and my little one winged Robin manifested... .


See how much they look alike!




My Unicorn Fawn, painted in February 2008| The Real Unicorn Deer, found in June 2008

AHHH!!

THis little dude is perfect!

Turns out I messaged the woman who made him, and even though she only has one, she is willing to sell him for a reasonable price to me, based on seeing my website and my obsession with Unicorns, she's knows he'd have a good home : )

I found a Unicorn drawn by Andy Warhol today : )

Recent Drawings

Women Are Delicate 2010

Mixed Media

Betty Draper 2010

Ink & Graphite on Paper

BLACK SWAN for "Together Is AMazing" TV Commercial

I recently painted a large Black Swan on a 4 foot by 8 foot tall letter S for SHAW Cable... They included the Swan and myself in their recent Ad Campaign.

WATCH IT ON THE LINK ABOVE. ^^

HAIR

In trade of hair advice and styling I altered these images for my friend Jacob. He'll be hanging them in his swank new apartment...

Play Bunny

Part of a large drawing I'm working on.